Ladybugs, thank you for joining me for this month’s edition of Tell Us About. July’s prompt, ‘blogging’, was selected by Debbie at Deb’s World. I have had such a on again-off again relationship with my blog!! Right now, for this minute, my blog and I are on again. But that could change with about any hiccup in LIFE.
Tell Us About
Are you new to the Tell Us About (TUA) series? Let me tell you about it!! TUA is a global writing challenge where bloggers from all around the planet(!!) respond to a different prompt on the third Thursday of each month. I joined the group early in 2023 and so appreciated the invite to do so, and the opportunities to do some creative writing on my blog. But then LIFE got crazy with PC’s health and I just couldn’t think straight enough to write blog posts of any sort. LIFE seems to have settled down again – knock on wood, fingers crossed 🤞🏽. So, I am happily joining again this month.
You can find my other TUA posts here:
Tell Us About –
- Play
- Scent
- Gardens and Gardening
- Ways I’m a Curiosity
- Travel
- Imagination
- my theme choice for September, Legacy
- Hometowns
- Laughter
- Music to my Ears
- Beauty in my World
Before we wade in, just a reminder: Once Upon a Time & Happily Ever After occasionally uses affiliate links which are usually italicized. If you click or make a purchase from an italicized link provided I may receive a very small commission at no cost to you. Thank you for your support.
Please find the places and posts where I link-up on this page.
Tell Us About 07.2024: Blah-blah Blogging
As I am sitting down to write this post, I am not really sure which direction to take. I think first I will look back at my blogging beginnings and then reflect a little on where I see my blog beyond this summer.
In the Early Days
Next month, I will have been blogging for 10 years. You can read my first post, here. Four whole sentences. Things have certainly changed, huh?
Ten years seems to be about the same length of time that many of the gals I follow have also been blogging. Not sure what prompted everyone else to begin blogging in 2014 but I started as an outlet for creative writing. Originally thought I would share my lesson plans, favorite children’s books, book-related activities as an extension to my 25-year career as an elementary school librarian. But soon realized that would really narrow the scope of any potential audience.
I had retired 8 months earlier, during the winter break. Had to have cervical spinal surgery and didn’t have enough sick leave days to just take time off from my job. I could have tried for FMLA but I would have lost my assignment in the library where I had been working and could have been placed anywhere once I recovered from surgery. Plus, BIG PLUS for retiring, I had the most unprofessional, immoral principal I have ever worked with. I had enough years of service to retire early so I did.
But once I had recovered from my surgery, I was absolutely lost. Everyone I knew was still working. I had no retired friends. And at that time, neither of my daughters lived here. What was I supposed to do with all the hours in the day?
Enter GYPO
In the spring of 2014, Alison Lumbatis ditched her day job in corporate America and began Get Your Pretty On (GYPO), an online seasonal wardrobe challenge for women. I saw GYPO advertised on Facebook and signed up for the first challenge – a spring capsule wardrobe complete with shopping links and a Facebook group that would allow the participants to socialize, share their version of the OOTD and ask questions of Alison. It was my saving grace. Through GYPO and the FB group, I ‘met’ so many wonderful gals, many with whom I am still in contact through blogging or other social media outlets. And several of them are in my book club, too.
The Blended Blog
Some of the bloggers I met through GYPO invited a group of gals to form what we called The Blended Blog. I am thinking that was probably in 2015. The Blended Blog was a blog all on its own but several times a month one of the members of the group would be the ‘hostess’ for a particular post. She would introduce the theme of the post on the TBB site and then each TBB blogger would write a response for their own blog. I was honored to be part of this group but after a couple of years, things began to look less rosy.
A couple of the TBB gals clearly took charge of everything and their voices were heard louder and clearer above the rest of the group. Then some of the members were made to feel unwelcome and a couple were even asked to leave the group. I had never felt entirely a part of things and often observed that my ideas or suggestions fell on deaf ears. A couple of times, I was left out of discussions that seemed to be happened outside the group threads. The whole situation began to feel ugly and hurtful like middle school or high school.
Sadly, this experience reminded me of why I am so cautious about having girl friends. By the middle of 2016, if not before, I decided to leave the group. Blogging and blogging friendships had become painful.
Beyond TBB
The Blended Blog broke up within a year after I left. Several of the girls started other endeavors together. A few of the members set blogging aside. I was mid-struggle with my mom’s mental and physical health issues so my blogging became very haphazard. I wrote this post in 03.2017, which explains a lot of what my family was going through during this difficult season.
Most of the bloggers I have followed since the beginning are quite a bit younger than I am and in different seasons of their lives. I’ve followed Carrie at Curly Crafty Mom and Laura at I Do deClaire and Jill at Doused in Pink for years and have watched their precious children grow up before my eyes. And they feel like real friends. But Carrie, Laura and Jill are young enough to be my daughters!! They are experiencing middle school, high school and college with their children. I have grandbabies.
I discovered, followed and adored a couple of fashion bloggers that I still follow and adore today. And actually got into another blogging group that focused on fashion but felt very out of my league. KellyAnn at This Blonde’s Shopping Bag is one of my favorites from this blogging period and still today. That fashion blogging group disbanded and I was relieved because blogging about clothes was really not me. The gals in this group have all gone on to be very successful bloggers and have begun incorporating things other than fashion into their posts.
Look for My Niche with Bloglovin’
I began using Bloglovin’ in search of bloggers who were my age and in a similar season. Retired, empty nesters. Interestingly enough, doing that introduced me to a great group of Australian and British bloggers as well as some American bloggers in my same chapter of life. Juhli, Deb and Deb, Gail and Sue, Leanne, Pat, Donna, Christie, Natalie and Denyse, Min, Gale and Jennifer. These gals were experiencing the some of the same feelings I was. Adjusting to retirement, trying to find a new normal, loving and caring for children, grandchildren and aging parents. They are all still embracing life with incredible and admirable vigor.
How Does Blogging Look Today
For today, this day in mid July, 2024, I am finding time and a renewed interest in blogging, in writing. I am still a fair-weather blogger, I think, though. Because when LIFE gets tough, I quit blogging. I just can’t seem to balance the crazy and blogging, too.
But for this moment in time, I am very happily a part of the Ageless Style group – Jodie, Mireille, Joann, Rosemary, Amy, Bo, and Marsha. We publish a style-related post on the third Thursday of each month and take turns coming up with each month’s theme. I still feel less than confident about sharing fashion posts because I don’t consider myself a fashionista. Most days I just get dressed!! Somedays, barely!! Our latest post goes live today.
I enjoy writing posts as a member of the Where Bloggers Live group. Kind of invited myself into this group by asking Bettye, the group’s creator, if I could join them. And she said yes!! These posts are always fun to write and our group is very supportive of one another. These bloggers – Bettye, Em, Daenel, Sally, and Jodie are all younger than I with the exception of fellow grandma Iris. This group publishes posts on the second Friday of each month.
Tell Us About
Which brings me to this group of gals. The Tell Us About bloggers, Gail, Sue, MK, Jill, Penny, Marsha, Suzy and Debbie. Like Where Bloggers Live, this link-up inspires me to do more creative writing. Every third Thursday (same day as Ageless Style, which makes it a bit tough for a hot-cold blogger like me), we write to a prompt that one of the Tell Us About hosts has suggested.
The members of this group are probably closest to my age…I might still be the most ‘mature’ member – only in number of birthdays!! Some of the ladies are predominantly fashion bloggers but the majority are lifestyle bloggers. And I think that is where I best fit into this whole blogging world…a lifestyle blogger. I write what I know. My life. Which lead me to thinking about how blogging looks for me going forward.
Blogging Going Forward
So that’s a look at the ‘history’ of Once Upon a Time & Happily Ever After to this point. What are my plans for blogging in the future? Hmmm, I really don’t know. Blogging is time consuming. I have so many things I want to do every day. Blogging isn’t always one of the those activities.
And when I do write a post, there are hours of behind the scenes work that has to be done. I am a stickler for editing, for having my pictures all the same size, to have the same formatting from one post to the next, the same spacing above and below pictures, between sections and paragraphs. It’s enough to make this OCD-suffering perfectionist crazier than ever.
Writing, Reading, ‘Rithmetic
Writing
I feel almost guilty about writing posts sometimes, as if I am saying “look at me” or “listen to me”. As if I have something of vital importance to impart!! Which couldn’t be further from the truth, most posts. I have trouble with putting affiliate links in my posts (but I do) or ads on my pages because I feel like I am trying to make money off my friendships with those who are kind enough to stop by to read my gibberish.
I’ve said it before, I don’t like the word ‘influencer’ and would never suggest that there is anything, except maybe how to run a successful elementary library, that I should try to influence anyone about. A few years ago when I was still glued to the TV for every Bachelor/Bachelorette season and episode, there was a young woman ‘contestant’ who, at the age of 22, defined herself as an influencer. That shocked me. What could a 22-year-old know enough about life, about anything, to be deserving of influencing others? See me when you’ve been around the block a time or two, then maybe I can call you an influencer.
Reading
In order to be a good blogger friend, you need to read the blogs of other bloggers. Blogging is a reciprocal relationship. And I have not been a good blogger friend to many of the 80+ bloggers I follow. Right now I have over 250 blog posts written by those 80+ bloggers that I haven’t read. And those have just been written over the last few weeks. I can’t keep up. So, I try to start reading posts at the top of my alphabetical blog list one week, in the middle of the blog list the next week and at the end of the blog list the third week so I touch base with everyone approximately once a month. But there are lots of weeks when I just don’t get to blog reading.
And along with reading, there is the need to comment on everyone’s blog. It is just the polite thing to do. But I don’t always do well with that either. I struggle to read comments left for me because I feel guilty reading the kind words left for me. It somehow feels like by writing blog posts, I am looking for compliments and reassurance. And those are very nice but if I am really just writing for the sake of writing, then maybe I shouldn’t even have a place for comments.
‘Rithmetic
Lastly, there are the numbers. I have never been good with numbers, just look at my bank account. And I really don’t focus on numbers with my blog. Can’t tell you which blog post was my most popular. How many followers – God help them – are ‘following’ me. I was a little sad when I lost an email blog reader this week. But I really don’t give the numbers much thought at all. It amazes me that anyone would come by here more than once!!
Your Turn
So, that’s a mouthful, huh? TMI? No doubt. But I am nothing if not wordy!!
Are you a blogger? If so, how long have you been blogging? What do you feel the future of blogging looks like? What are your plans about continuing to blog and/or follow bloggers.
Hope you will join me in visiting the blogs of all of the Tell Us About bloggers. Summaries of their posts are as follow.
- Gail from Is This Mutton has been blogging since 2006 and reckons she’ll still be at it in her 90s, probably wearing purple.
- In this month’s edition of Tell Us About…Blogging, Suzy takes us through her extensive and colourful journey in the world of blogging, from her early days to her current passions. Find her at www.suzyturner.com.
- While Marsha at Marsha in the Middle, is probably the newest blogger in the group, she recently celebrated her third blogoversary on July 8th. Her goal was to learn something new. Did she?
- Debbie the host at Debbie’s World, asks how do bloggers decide what to write about? Are there certain topics off limits? Debbie discusses these issues, and blogging in general, in her Tell Us About post.
- Penny, the Frugal Fashion Shopper, has been blogging for over 11 years now. She takes you back to those early years and some of her clunky photographs! She also tells you why she has two blogs on the go at the same time.
- The host of MK’s Adventures in Style, Mary Katherine looks back on how she got started in blogging, and who her influences were then and now.
- Jill, who blogs at Grown-up Glamour is looking back over her last ten years of blogging. And wondering what the future of the blog will be.
Finally,
- Sue at Women Living Well After 50, is in the midst of a busy season and may not join in for this month’s challenge.
Thank You
I know I have been a hot-cold, fair-weather blogger and blog follower and friend. So, if you have somehow stuck with me through thick and thin, and found something in my rambling worth wading through, I appreciate YOU. Thank you. Thank you.
Off to iron. Do I say that every time I write a blog post? I think so. I just cannot get it all done. And today I ordered these linen pants on the Amazon Prime Days sale. Jill at Doused in Pink styled them so beautifully I had to have a pair. Have avoided wrinkle-prone linen like the plague. What in the world was I thinking?
Hugs and kisses,
I always enjoy your posts!! I like hearing about your days and your family. I love your clothing posts – they show us the real you!! I was thinking about what you wrote about being a “fair-weather” blogger. Sometimes when things aren’t going well, I just don’t want to put words to it right away. A friend encouraged me to go ahead and write about those times but once those words and feelings were on the screen . . . if I didn’t feel right about sharing it at that time . . .not to share it. Does that make sense?
What great advice!! You are so wise. It does help to just write down some of the crazy, some of the LIFE stuff that bombards us at times. And then I can fine tune what I have written if I decide to publish it in a post. If not, I am sure I will feel better for having just written my thoughts. Have started adding some of my memoir writing to Substack. Have you ever heard of that? Hope to do more of that once life settles down at the summer’s end.
It’s a shame that women made you feel that way from the Blended Blog. It hurts me when I hear women have those experiences. It’s really one of the reasons I joined Forever Fierce-Midlife Matters on FB because it’s the tribe with the kind vibe. Yet we have to kick people out occasionally because there are and will always be mean girls around.
I enjoy following younger women too but it’s nice to have those of us in the older age groups.
XOXO
Jodie
What a lovely detailed blog post. It’s so interesting to hear about your journey to the blog you do now.
And we have so much in common. I don’t monetarise my blog at all, I write a blog to write, pure and simple and I also find it very difficult keeping up with the reading and commenting on other blogs. Because, life just gets in the way. And like you I don’t care about the numbers, as I said I write a blog to write, and that’s it. Oh and your bad experience – how awful and sad. Usually the community of women who blog are so helpful, lovely and nice to each other. It’s been one of the most positive experiences of my life to find this community and occasionally meet up. Btw, I must be the oldest blogger amongst the Tell Us About crowd as I am 78 now!!! How did that happen!
Great post Leslie 🙂
LOL, you always make me smile, my friend. And I am always so happy to see a comment from you for that reason. Thank you. Let’s just keep writing for the sake of writing and not worry about the numbers behind the posts. I am so glad to be a part of this Tell Us About group – such kind, ADULT, eloquent women. Thank you for stopping by to visit.
Hello Leslie,
I can understand your love/ hate relationship with blogging. It is hard at times, it takes a lot of time and effort to write posts. Glad you wrote one today. I’m not a fashion blogger, I’m a book reviewer and garden blogger, but I don’t mind reading a few posts on fashion, there are times when I have to go out in more than wellies!
Best wishes,
Rosie
Hi new friend!! Enjoyed visiting your blog earlier today. Loved the walk about your garden. Thank you for sharing its beauty with this desert-dweller. My hubs is retiring this week and our lives are going to be turned upside by that, and 2 vacations upcoming in the next month. But THEN I hope we can establish and keep some kind of routine and schedule as I am a fan of both. And then maybe I can blog more regularly. Thank you for stopping by.
Hi Leslie, I’ve missed your rambles! It was interesting hearing your blog history. I’ve never really joined into any of the blog-groups, don’t follow prompts/challenges, and only a few times have I done the links (which seems to be an Australian thing). I comment when something moves me to comment, hit like if they have that feature if I’ve read but nothing caused me to comment (you don’t have that feature). I follow about 20-25 active bloggers at the moment…not nearly the 80 you do (OMG!). Many bloggers I’ve followed have reduced their blog frequency or stopped all together. I’m about to hit my 9 year anniversary, and have kept relatively constant at one blog a week. (I don’t beat myself up if I skip a week.) But like you, I’ve found a type of friendship, some definite support, and tons of inspiration in this blogging world. It’s nice to have you back doing your own thing here! Pat
Thank you, friend, for coming by. I think it is time to narrow the number of blogs I follow! Have heard from a number of friends that they have limited the blogs they follow to about your same number. That would certainly help me find time to get by to visit everyone more regularly. Need to look into that!
PC is retiring this week. We are going on 2 trips before fall but then I hope to get back to some kind of routine in our lives. Until then, I need to just go with the flow which is tough for me. Have so enjoyed following you to Florida and keeping up with your life. Hope you continue to blog for years to come.
I loved reading the history of your blogging life! And was honored to see my name included! I understand the whole hot/cold thing and the does-anyone-really-care-what-I-have-to-say thing. I experience all of that myself. I do think allowing comments is an important part of a blog post. It encourages a sense of community and allows others to express their thoughts/feelings. Sometimes I’ll think nobody cares if I’m blogging or not, and then I’ll get an unexpected comment from someone who I think is no longer really following, and I am buoyed. Many times, when I think there’s no reason to continue my blog, someone has sent me a text or an email telling me how much they enjoy reading it. It’s funny how that happens. I hope you continue to be my blogging friend. I hope you keep allowing comments. And I hope someday we will meet in person. 😘
Thank you for your supportive, kind comment. I hope we will meet in person one day, too. And think it is entirely possible. It’s true that just when I get ready to throw in the towel and give up the blogging for good, that someone will leave a comment or reach out to me in some way with the kindest remarks that encourage me to continue. You have done that for me with your sweet words.
I did enjoy reading about your blogging journey Leslie. I will admit that I have run a bit hot and cold with my blog over the years and not always been consistent with my posting and commenting , so you are not alone there.
I do enjoy the creativity of blogging but am by no means a perfectionist like you and lack so many technical skills. The best part for me is the connections with both my fellow bloggers and readers,
Hi Leslie – I started blogging in 2014 too – so my 10 year blogaversay is in November. I thought I’d write a few posts to get things off my mind and then give it all away. I found I had a lot more to write about than I thought, then I met other bloggers, then I joined some link parties, co-hosted a couple…. But, over time (even though I’ve been consistent) I’ve definitely reduced the amount I blog and who I interact with. I don’t do the link parties anymore – I figure if people like what I write and want to connect, then they’ll subscribe or check in occasionally. I do the same – I keep in touch with those I enjoy and try to comment on most of their posts (although the 3 or more posts a week that some do are just too be a stretch for me!)
Blogging is a hobby and it should bring us joy – not stress – so my thinking is…. I write when I have something I’m thinking about, keep in touch with others like yourself, and just enjoy this lovely life I have. x
I know so many bloggers who started in 2014. Wonder why we all started that year? Seems like 2020 mid-pandemic would have been a very popular year for the creation of new blogs. I don’t do link parties either. I write posts for a couple of series that have link ups but I am not seeking link up parties to join myself. It’s all too much for me. Hoping I can find more time to write about the things on my mind in the coming months and maybe review a book or two in the process. So glad I discovered the blogs of my favorite Aussie gals!!
Leslie, I am honestly struggling with what to say. Your post about your mom was heart wrenching, but it shows what a strong woman you are. You were there to support her, your dad, and your siblings even as you were hurting. I had no idea you’d been a part of a blended blog…I read how you said it worked, but, man, that is complicated. And, 80 blogs? Wow! I did finally kinda decide I had hit my limit on the number I would follow because it’s difficult to write your own, then read theirs, comment on theirs, and comment on the the comments you receive. That’s not to say I won’t continue to find bloggers I like and will subscribe to. Let’s just say I’m not in the market to find a whole lot more! I skip a day, and I feehttps://marshainthemiddle.com/l like it’s going to take me forever to catch up…see how late I am in reading and commenting on yours?
I hope you are always blogging because, to me, blogging is about writing and reading. It’s not about the fashion (though we both know that’s my niche). It’s about the community, and I’m glad we’re in the same one!
https://marshainthemiddle.com/
You always warm my heart. Thank you, darling friend. The chapter of life with my mom was probably my most difficult. Beyond being a single mom. Beyond being an abused wife. I felt like I could not ever relax – not for a minute, because when I did, the phone would ring and my world and HERS would be upside down again. Now we are beginning a similar chapter with my mother-in-law. PC doesn’t handle this well at all. Ostrich. So, I much of it falls on me with as little as we can do being 1500 miles away.
Thank you for being one of my favorite blogging buddies.
Leslie, I just love how honest your posts are! This was such a wonderful one to read, and I’m very sorry that you’ve had a few negative experiences in the blogging world.
It can be very time consuming to be a blogger, responding to comments and suchlike so sometimes I just write the shortest of comments to let the author know I’ve been there. Sometimes, I say nothing at all! The important thing is that you’ve taken the time to visit the blog in the first place!
I hope you’ll continue to blog.
Big hugs
Suzy xx
Oh, my! Thank you for this kind message of support. Your words warmed my heart and are so encouraging. It is time consuming to be a blogger and LIFE can keep me from being the blogger and blog friend I want to be. Hope they maybe the stars have aligned right now for my family and I can give blogging the attention it requires.
I remember the Blended Blog and when it disbanded. I always thought that was odd. Blogging groups can be hard. I was in a blogging group that also disbanded but then a few months later certain members of that same group got together and created their own little group…needless to say, I unfollowed them all. I don’t put up with that high school clique nonsense.
Oh, the Blended Blog gave me heart burn and heart ache. So many of the girls were very sweet but there was one in particular who was just catty and blunt and unkind. It felt so good to be invited to join the group but it was soon a very painful experience.
I think Ageless Style had another name at some point. I remember when Carrie Thurston asked me to join her style link-up group. If I’m not mistaken Ageless Style morphed from Carrie’s group. Not sure Carrie is still bloggin. She’s another Texas gal.
Oh Leslie, I LOVE reading your words and feel like we’re sitting having a cup of tea together as I read. You are so honest and open. I have to say I always love reading your comments on my posts as you made me smile! I agree with much of what you say about blogging and how we do it or, being a fair-weather blogger and the work that goes into writing a post. It is a time consuming business but it’s also fun meeting bloggers like you around the world and going through much of our ‘life’ stuff together. Thanks for being you and keep on writing! Thanks also for the mentions, it’s been so good getting to know you through our blogs and I’m glad things are going well for you and PC at the moment. xx #TellUsAbout
Debbie, thank you for always boosting my confidence with your kind words. Thank you for your well wishes for PC. We are so fortunate that his health has returned and we are embarking on his retirement adventures next week!!
I really enjoyed reading about your blogging history, Leslie, and some of the feelings you have related to blogging. First of all, congratulations on 10 years. I am just behind you, coming up on nine. I too feel so blessed to have “stumbled upon” this amazing group of midlife bloggers, and I am touched that you include me in your great group of bloggers. When you talked about feeling guilty publishing your thoughts, as if you had something important to say, it struck such a chord for me. I feel that to my core when it comes to my own blogging. The strange thing is I never feel that way when I read your blog or any of the others I follow. I just enjoy reading what you all have to share. Sometimes I learn something…or get inspired…other times I just enjoy the company. Thanks for being part of that joy.
Thank you for your friendship and supportive words. I appreciate what you said about the enjoyment of reading other blogs for entertainment or information or both!! I don’t judge other bloggers and what they are sharing nearly as much as I judge myself. You are so wise.
I enjoyed reading your blogging journey — it’s so interesting to me how people get involved in blogging. Like you, I was going through an upheaval in my life and starting a new journey and needed something to focus on. I’m also a fair weather blogger who felt completely out of place in many of the blogging groups I joined (which is why I tended to back away). Anyway, I’m good at the reading of the blog posts, but absolutely terrible at the commenting. I’m trying to get better (more consistent).
I enjoyed your style posts — your outfits were always realistic and inspirational, so don’t sell yourself short. And, gosh, getting to watch the babies grow up has been fun.
Thank you, sweet friend, for coming by and for leaving a message so I know you visited. Sadly, women can be the worst!! And women bloggers can sometimes be as catty as middle school tweens. I feel like I have some kinder blogging friends now and I am trying to just enjoy writing when I can. Thank you for your kind words. Wishing you a very successful school year.
You are not a fair-weathered blogger. I thoroughly enjoy all of your posts and am so glad when you are able to put up a new post. You put a lot of work into your posts (it shows!) and there are no rules for working/scheduling your own blog. You make the rules!:) But let me just shake my head and agree with you about reciprocal blog reading. That and responding to comments really does stress me out. Again, I should just enjoy blogging and read others’ posts as I am able…but that is often hard to do. So, I understand howing you are feeling – but let go of the pressure and just enjoy blogging. (Um, note to self there!) Hope you have a wonderful and blessed week ahead. I really enjoyed this post. As I do, all of them!!
Thank you, dear friend, for your support. Yes, blogging is supposed to be fun. And I am trying to remember why I started and bring back some of the fun to my blogging experience. Thank you for being my buddy. I also appreciate your visits.