• Craft & Create
  • Living Life
  • Rediscovering ME
  • Reviews and Reflection
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

Once Upon a Time & Happily Ever After

Rediscovering Life after Retirement

Categories: Reviews and Reflection

Where Bloggers Live 08.2024: Best Advice I Was Ever Given

Where Bloggers Live 08.2024: Best Advice I Was Ever Given

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening!!  Thank you for stopping by for this month’s edition of Where Bloggers Live.  Today the gals and I have been tasked with writing about the best advice we’ve ever gotten.  To be honest, I don’t remember a lot of advice that I have been given, maybe because I can’t remember much of anything these days.  Or maybe because I can be hard-headed and don’t necessarily follow advice very well.

Where Bloggers Live

 

The ideas for this colorful series originated with our adventurous leader, Bettye, at Fashion Schlub.  She describes this series as being kind of like HGTV’s “Celebrities at Home,” but…with bloggers! Every month, Bettye provides the six WBL bloggers with a prompt that invites us to share our lives, thoughts and memories.  Every prompt makes me think!!  And that’s a tall order for me these days.

You can find last month’s Where Bloggers Live post, here.  Always pleased to join my friends for this series.

Just a reminder:  Once Upon a Time & Happily Ever After occasionally uses affiliate links which are usually italicized.  If you click or make a purchase from an italicized link provided I may receive a very small commission at no cost to you.  Thank you for your support.

Please find the places and posts where I link-up on this page.

Speaking of…you remember these gals, right?

Where Bloggers Live 09.2023

Bettye at Fashion Schlub
Daenel at Living Outside the Stacks
Em at Dust and Doghair
Iris at Iris’ Original Ramblings
Jodie at Jodie’s Touch of Style
Sally at Within a World of My Own
Leslie at Once Upon a Time & Happily Ever After

 

Where Bloggers Live 08.2024

 

I’m not terribly good about taking advice.  At least not right off the bat.  How ’bout you?  Advice has to kind of sit with me a bit.  I have to ponder it. And consider my own natural inclinations for whatever the situation is first.  And then I might consider any advice. As I have shared many times before, I come from a long-line of A-#1 worriers.  So I have to worry every situation to death before I take action, and then again after I have decided what I am going to do!!

In looking back over my life in preparation for writing this post, I don’t remember ooodles of advice being offered my way.  Maybe things like ‘wear the heels instead of the flats’ or ‘you should wear more blue.’  But I don’t remember being given a whole lot of life-altering advice.  Probably because I would have dismissed most of it and done things my way, anyway.  That says a lot right there!!  I guess there were a couple of times when people suggested maybe I really didn’t want to marry him or him.

Which brings me to…

The Best Advice I Was Ever Given

 

Where Bloggers Live 08.2024: Best Advice I Was Ever Given
Our Match.com profile photos.

You may remember PC and I ‘met’ on Match.com in May 2023.  He messaged me on a Tuesday and I was immediately enamored with the complete sentences, excellent grammar and punctuation in his message to me.  Not to mention his profile picture – that handsome face and full head of hair!!  We agreed to meet on Thursday night at Applebee’s and I would like to say the rest is history.

But it’s not.

We dated for a very long time.  Five years.  With lots of hiccups and road blocks along the way.  Which is to be expected in a relationship where both parties have been badly burned in the past.  And both parties come into the new relationship loaded down with baggage…not to mention, 2 teens/young adult children a piece.

Year One

Where Bloggers Live 08.2024: Best Advice I Was Ever Given

The first year, I was head over heels.  But, sadly, I also just thought at 45 years old I was supposed to be married.  Living that grand happily ever after.  And I wasn’t.  Within a few months, I told PC I was falling in love with him.  Actually whispered it when I thought he was sleeping but he was awake and heard me.  Oh, the horrors.  Made for a few very awkward days afterward because he wasn’t ready to reciprocate.

He was still pining over the rebound girlfriend he had fallen for after his marriage dissolved.  And in a lot of ways, Paul was still very sad about the dissolution of his 15-year marriage.  Mostly sad for his children on whom the divorce was very difficult.  I was looking forward – forward to the future, and wanting to get on with life and love.

Year Two and Three

During the next 2 years of our ‘courtship’ – how very old fashioned – we seemed to be in a similar place.  Both of us had full plates with our separate lives parenting our children, and our families were not blending well at all.  Who are these people, these divorced parents with children who remarry and have the perfected blended his-hers-OURS families??  Our kids were like oil and water with each other.  And Paul’s kids didn’t care for me in the least.  My daughters were very cautious about Paul, too.

Our lives were busy with work, kids, responsibilities and trying to fall in love simultaneously.  But during this time we were on at least on the same sheet of music, more or less.

Year Four

Along about 2007-ish, we kind of flip-flopped and Paul became more of the initiator or pursuer.  I felt like he was becoming more serious about a long-term (after 4 years!!) relationship.  We talked about building a house together.  Of course, getting married first.  But while my girls were kind of settling down into adulthood, his children were still in the throes of their teenage years.  His son, Matt was living with Paul.  My daughter Lauren was living with me.  And as far as the kids were concerned, ‘ne’er the twain shall meet.’  Of course, they had met, and we had done family activities together for several years but Matt and Paul went back to their house and Lauren and I went back to ours.  I was not at all sure I wanted to (step) mother his children.  Decided that the status quo was just fine for me.

Love and Marriage?

After a walk up McKelligon Canyon one Sunday, Paul suggested we go look at rings.  Yikes.  But I like a nice diamond engagement ring as well as the next girl.  So we did.  We picked out the rings (engagement and WEDDING!!)  together but I told Paul I wanted him to actually propose, not just hand me the ring after he paid for it.  And I wanted him to surprise me.  He did.

In the fall of 2007, while PC and I were checking out model homes and houses for sale, he pulled a small black box from his pocket and proposed to me.  On the balcony of an open house overlooking our beloved Franklin Mountains, he pulled out the ring and said he would do everything he could to make me happy the rest of my life.

Trouble in Paradise

 

I was a little afraid to tell family and friends (and my daughters), that we were engaged.  Had made more than one mistake in the love and marriage department before.  Now, at almost 50 years old, I couldn’t get it wrong again.  While I was hesitant to share our news, I was excited to begin putting into place the plans for our lives together.  We found a house plan that we both liked and a lot on which to build.  My parents came for a visit and were happy to learn of our engagement.  Really liked the floor plan we had selected.  I told my daughters, Paul told Matt and it was soon full speed ahead.

Until it wasn’t.

Cold Feet

A few months after our engagement, it was time to sign papers so construction on our house could begin.  I panicked.  Was I ready to try my hand at lady love again?  To be a step-mother when that had gone so badly for me before.  And to put my girls through another marriage that might potentially fail?

We had begun seeing a counselor in hopes of making the merger of our families more successful.  My girls and I had worked with Kathy Curley for several years and she had helped us through some dark days. Kathy worked with Lauren and Matt, Paul and I, together and separately.  I confided in Kathy that I was terrified to proceed in marriage.  On the day of our appointment to sign the papers for our house, I told Paul I needed to step back from our plans.

Finally, The Good Advice Part

 

For a few weeks, Paul and I, ‘we’ were in limbo.  I continued to see Kathy, the counselor, expressing my worries about marrying again at each appointment.  After several sessions, Kathy stepped out of her role as my counselor and spoke to me as a friend.  She told me that Paul was a good man, that he was responsible and supportive.  He had stick-to-it-iveness – he had retired from the Army after 23 years; he had stayed in a doomed marriage for 15  years because he thought it was the right thing to do.  Kathy reminded me that we had similar values and goals for our lives and we almost always had fun together.  I told her again that I was scared to remarry.  Kathy assured me that this time it would be good.  She could tell how much we loved each other.  That I could finally have my happily ever after.  She encouraged me to marry my PC.

And I did.  Best advice I’ve ever been given.

Best Advice I've Been Given
Best Advice I've Been Given
Sixth anniversary dinner
« ‹ of 21 › »
Today

We have just begun a new chapter in our lives together, in our marriage.  This week was PC’s first week of retirement from his job with the Department of Defense.  After Paul’s cancer scare, followed by considerable talking and praying and talking, we decided it was time.  And this first week has been a fairly easy adjustment.  Hope we can continue to have fun together, making new memories, trying new activities and enjoying old favorites.  I couldn’t ask for a more reasonable, grounded, level-headed partner.  Paul is my grandchildren’s grandfather.  He has become Lauren’s stepfather, for sure, and someone Brennyn looks up to in a fatherly way.

I would like to say that things are really good between Matt and Kate and me.  But they are not.  Kate and Paul don’t have much of a relationship and she doesn’t accept me at all.  Matt is kind of lukewarm.  Medicated Matt is less reluctant to let me in.  He is medicated now but went for so long unmedicated that we have a rough history together.  We are going to Ohio the end of the month and will see him then.  Hope we can have a good drama-free visit.

Your Turn

 

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?  Did you follow the advice?  Do you receive advice easily?  I am so thankful that I swallowed my fears and became Mrs. Paul Clingan.  Our 16 years have not always been trouble-free but we are quick to remind each other that we are a team.  And we cannot allow anything to come between us.

Thank you for spending a few moments here with me.  Wishing you a restful, peaceful weekend.

Hugs and kisses,

leslie

Get Updates

[jetpack-related-posts]

About Leslie Roberts Clingan

I am an aspiring blogger and children's author, wife, mother, daughter, sister, - in-law, responsible pet owner and recently retired elementary school librarian. I hope to figure out the next chapter of my life as I transition from crazy, busy work world onto totally idle retirement and now to something in-between.

Comments

  1. Joanne

    August 9, 2024 at 11:49 am

    I would venture to say that those happily blended families with no problems only happen on TV. I was just 5 when my mom remarried and I know I gave my step-father such grief (especially during the teen years!!). Now we’re very close but it took so very, very long.

    Glad to hear your retirement years are off to a great start!

    Reply
    • Leslie Roberts Clingan

      September 15, 2024 at 7:46 pm

      Thank you, my friend. I am hoping that someday I will have a closer relationship to at least Paul’s son. Since he doesn’t have a relationship right now with his daughter, I can’t imagine having a relationship with her at all.

      Reply
  2. Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom

    August 9, 2024 at 11:58 am

    Wow, enjoyed reading all of this… learned some stuff I didn’t know about you and your past. And, being remarried this is all stuff I enjoy hearing how it went with others, etc. It sounds like you have a really wonderful counselor/therapist that helped push you in the right direction. I was just thinking about you the other day and how this new phase of your life is going with PC retired. I am glad to hear it is going well!!

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

    Reply
  3. Daenel T.

    August 9, 2024 at 3:56 pm

    Wow, what a story. I’m sorry to read that you and your stepchildren are still having a rough time —it’s hard to be a stepparent, especially when you come into the picture when the kids are teens.

    Like you, I don’t remember anyone ever giving me any life changing advice. I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t have those types of people in my life or if it’s because I don’t ask. I’m always hesitant to ask or share because, honestly, I have a fear of my information being used against me. Gosh, that’s really an awful thing to admit.

    Reply
  4. Gale

    August 9, 2024 at 4:38 pm

    Hi, Leslie! Loved hearing the story of how the two of you met and how your relationship grew! It’s not always easy to act on the advice of others, especially when it’s such a major life decision. I’m so glad this story had a happy ending! 😊

    Reply
    • Leslie Roberts Clingan

      September 15, 2024 at 7:58 pm

      Thank you!! I am so thankful our love story has had a happily ever after.

      Reply
  5. Em D

    August 9, 2024 at 8:18 pm

    I know there are often issues with blended families, but how blessed you are to have found someone true, loving, and committed with whom you could work through those struggles to find the happiness you have each long deserved. Your PC seems to be a very attentive grandfather to your babies and a very good man to your daughters and most of all their mom. Someday, I hope the other two children come to appreciate the opportunity they have for a wonderful stepmom. Your counselor sounds like one of the VERY good ones!

    Reply
    • Leslie Roberts Clingan

      September 15, 2024 at 8:02 pm

      PC is wonderful with the grandbabies, especially the 2 we see most, here in El Paso. They adore him and he is really the only grandfather they feel close to. My exhusband is not in Lauren’s life so he has never met Cami and only met Lucia once. Their paternal grandfather is not exactly hands-on so they are somewhat guarded around him. Paul is FUN and the girls love him for being that way. So do I.

      Reply
  6. Marsha Banks

    August 9, 2024 at 9:01 pm

    I am so glad you took your friend’s advice! You seem to have been through it with prior marriages, but this one, even with the hiccups, is a beautiful one. It shows in every picture of the two of you. So, did you build the house, or is your house one you eventually found? I loved learning more about you, Leslie!

    https://marshainthemiddle.com/

    Reply
    • Leslie Roberts Clingan

      September 15, 2024 at 8:25 pm

      Me, too!! Thank you. I have had my share of bad luck/poor decisions in regards to prior marriages. But this time I got it right!!

      Reply
  7. Bettye

    August 9, 2024 at 9:35 pm

    Aww, I love that story!!! Now THAT was some good avice! I especially love that your therapist stepped out of her professional role to speak and offer advice to you as a friend. By meeting with you both individually and separately, she was able to truly see both sides of the story, which I think is an important element of advice giving…and one that most people don’t have the benefit of having.

    xoxo

    Reply
    • Leslie Roberts Clingan

      September 15, 2024 at 8:39 pm

      Thank you. I am so glad for my happily ever after. It was a long time coming.

      Reply
  8. Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au

    August 9, 2024 at 10:37 pm

    That was so interesting Leslie – second or third marriages come with so much baggage and need a lot of work to keep them strong…..but first marriages need to be worked on a lot too as you grow and change over the decades. One of the best pieces of advice I received is that your husband isn’t superman and you can’t expect him to meet all your needs – you need friends and others to fill in the gaps. I hope retired life goes well together. My husband retired last December and it’s been going much better than I expected – adjustments are always tricky, but ours has been smooth so far. 🙂

    Reply
    • Leslie Roberts Clingan

      September 15, 2024 at 9:12 pm

      What great advice you received. I do expect PC to fulfill so many of my needs but I turn to my daughters for much support and help, too. Although, they can’t be with my physically like PC can.
      We were sailing along so well the first weeks of retirement and then BAM!! I broke my foot. I am so frustrated. But Paul has been wonderful. I guess if we can move through this in addition to all the changes that his retirement is bringing, we will come out stronger than ever.
      Thank you for your wise words.

      Reply
  9. Cindy

    August 10, 2024 at 1:47 pm

    What an amazing story! (My daughter and her husband met on match.com too.) I’m like you when it comes to advice, I have to think on it a while. I usually respond right away, but then come back a day or two later and change my answer or reconfirm my commitment. 🙂 What a great love story. After reading everything you’ve been through I can understand why you were reluctant to marry again. But you really are living your happily ever after!

    Reply
    • Leslie Roberts Clingan

      September 15, 2024 at 9:13 pm

      Yes, I am living my happily ever after. So glad that PC contacted me on Match.com all those years ago.

      Reply
  10. jodie filogomo

    August 11, 2024 at 5:44 pm

    What a heart warming story in the fact that you did marry and are living a good story.
    Sometimes we have to give up control and just go with the flow, right?
    It’s not easy for us Type A personalities though, hahaha.
    XOXO
    Jodie

    Reply
  11. Juhli

    August 12, 2024 at 7:04 am

    Wow, I’m glad for the two of you that your therapist stepped out of her role and you took her advice. Happy retirement to both of yo7!

    Reply
  12. Sally in St Paul

    August 12, 2024 at 9:20 am

    Wow, that was a long road that finally brought the two of your together in marriage! So interesting to hear a real backstory of how this plays out.

    Reply
  13. Hena

    August 12, 2024 at 7:22 pm

    Life is never easy as we think it will be.. but your overcame, persevered and found love again. That is wonderful. Good advice indeed.
    It was not be advice but my husband and I have a motto. It is what it is.. and whenever life gets us down or somethings doesn’t go our way we say ‘It is what it is’ and try to move on.

    Reply
  14. Lysha

    August 13, 2024 at 6:05 am

    Such an interesting story to read. I pray you have a good visit with Matt. I also pray that one day the relationship between Paul and Kate can be minded. I can’t imagine my children shunning me and the heartbreak that would cause. Thanks for being so vulnerable in this post.

    Reply
  15. Iris

    August 13, 2024 at 7:43 am

    Oh, I loved your love story.
    It can sometimes be really difficult with step children, you just do the best you can.
    Thanks for sharing your story.
    Iris

    Reply
    • Leslie Roberts Clingan

      September 22, 2024 at 6:26 pm

      Thank you, Iris. We have had a number of struggles with PC’s children but I am thankful that my duaghters love him.

      Reply
  16. Jill

    August 15, 2024 at 11:10 am

    I loved reading about your courtship! And what a great counselor to step out of her counselor role to give you the best advice you needed at that time and push you in the right direction. I’m glad retirement is going well so far! Good luck on your trip!

    Jill – Doused in Pink

    Reply
  17. Lisa Elliott

    August 15, 2024 at 2:21 pm

    I loved reading your love story. Thank you for sharing it with all of us. My mom died when I was 15 and my dad started dating some the next year. Oh my goodness – I was not happy. He finally married someone else and I loved her and she loved me. She had never had children of her own and married my dad who had three daughters – age 20 (me); age 28 and age 33. My oldest sister was hardest on our step-mother. I know it must be very hard. I’m so glad that your grandkids think of him as their grandfather!!

    Reply
    • Leslie Roberts Clingan

      August 17, 2024 at 10:44 am

      Oh, blended families that don’t exactly blend!! It has been very hard. And my second marriage broke up mostly over my stepdaughter who had a world of issues. I am so sorry you lost your mom just as you probably needed her most. That must have been very hard. Then to have your father rather jump into a new relationship. Men. Sounds like he came to his senses, eventually, and found a good woman who fit into your family fairly well. Now that everyone is all grown up, I hope your oldest sister can have some sort of relationship with your stepmom. I am scared to see what awaits me in Ohio when we go. Last time I saw Matt, my stepson, he was unmedicated and very worrisome.

      I am thankful PC loves our grands and they love him. So blessed.

      Reply
  18. Mireille

    August 16, 2024 at 5:58 pm

    It was so good to hear about your story: I should write about how I met my husband. We got married 4 months after we met! Now married 22 years. Everyone has such an interesting story.
    http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Hello!

graphic tee

In what felt like the blink of an eye, I have gone from full-time wife to my sweet husband, hands-on mom to my two beautiful daughters and elementary school librarian to a retired, empty nester with lots of time on my hands. Join me on my journey to rediscover who I am. Glad you are here...
About me

Search

FREE NEWSLETTER

Subscribe to our newsletter today and be the first to know when we publish a new blog post.

Archives

Disclosure

Once Upon a Time & Happily Ever After occasionally uses affiliate links. This means that if you click a link provided we may receive a very small commission. Thank you for your support!

Best of the Blog

Follow Me on Pinterest

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Goodreads
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Substack
  • Twitter

From My IG Feed

onceuponatimehappilyeverafter

View

Jul 17

Open
07.15.2025 Hello, sunshine!! There's nothing like El Paso sunshine. We have an average of 350 plus days a year of sunshine. Here's how I dress to beat the heat in July. 

#agelessstyle 
#beattheheat☀️ 
#staycool😎 
#elpasoblogger 
#onceuponatimehappilyeverafter 
#insta2025📸 
#grandmasofinstagram 
#elpasowomen 
#lifeafterretirement 
#elpaso915 
#myfashionhaus 
#fashionover60

07.15.2025 Hello, sunshine!! There`s nothing like El Paso sunshine. We have an average of 350 plus days a year of sunshine. Here`s how I dress to beat the heat in July.

#agelessstyle
#beattheheat☀️
#staycool😎
#elpasoblogger
#onceuponatimehappilyeverafter
#insta2025📸
#grandmasofinstagram
#elpasowomen
#lifeafterretirement
#elpaso915
#myfashionhaus
#fashionover60
...

22 5

onceuponatimehappilyeverafter

View

Jul 12

Open
07.11.2025 Couples that play together stay together. Goodwill challenge. Selected outfits for each other then wore them to celebrate our 17th anniversary. Summer 2025 bucket 🪣 list activity completed. ✔️ 

#goodwillchallenge 
#summerbucketlist 
#summerfun☀️ 
#datenight❤️ 
#happyanniversary❤️ 
#elpasoblogger 
#elpaso915 
#onceuponatimehappilyeverafter 
#insta2025📸 
#grandmasofinstagram 
#princecharming

07.11.2025 Couples that play together stay together. Goodwill challenge. Selected outfits for each other then wore them to celebrate our 17th anniversary. Summer 2025 bucket 🪣 list activity completed. ✔️

#goodwillchallenge
#summerbucketlist
#summerfun☀️
#datenight❤️
#happyanniversary❤️
#elpasoblogger
#elpaso915
#onceuponatimehappilyeverafter
#insta2025📸
#grandmasofinstagram
#princecharming
...

30 19

onceuponatimehappilyeverafter

View

Jul 1

Open
07.01.2025 Come Read with Me voted to read Martha Hall Kelly's latest novel. Historical fiction set during World War II. Can't wait to begin!!

Is this book on your radar?

07.01.2025 Come Read with Me voted to read Martha Hall Kelly`s latest novel. Historical fiction set during World War II. Can`t wait to begin!!

Is this book on your radar?
...

13 4

onceuponatimehappilyeverafter

View

Jul 1

Open
07.01.2025 Great way to kick off a new month. 🌧️ RAIN 🌧️. Welcome, July. 

#rainingrain 
#raindance 
#sofresh 
#insta2025📸 
#onceuponatimehappilyeverafter 
#elpasophotographer 
#elpaso915
#grandmasofinstagram
#elpasoblogger

07.01.2025 Great way to kick off a new month. 🌧️ RAIN 🌧️. Welcome, July.

#rainingrain
#raindance
#sofresh
#insta2025📸
#onceuponatimehappilyeverafter
#elpasophotographer
#elpaso915
#grandmasofinstagram
#elpasoblogger
...

18 4

onceuponatimehappilyeverafter

View

Jun 28

Open
06.28.2025 New photo challenge post. 

#photochallenges 
#sundaystills 
#everydayimages 
#worldthroughlens 
#lifeafterretirement 
#insta2025📸 
#onceuponatimehappilyeverafter 
#elpasoblogger 
#elpaso915 
#elpasophotographer

06.28.2025 New photo challenge post.

#photochallenges
#sundaystills
#everydayimages
#worldthroughlens
#lifeafterretirement
#insta2025📸
#onceuponatimehappilyeverafter
#elpasoblogger
#elpaso915
#elpasophotographer
...

7 3

onceuponatimehappilyeverafter

View

Jun 25

Open
06.25.2025 Gone fishing'. Nuff said. 

#onceuponatimehappilyeverafter 
#fishingday 
#fishermanlife 
#elpasoblogger 
#grandmasofinstagram 
#elpaso915 
#lifeafterretirement 
#elpasowomen 
#insta2025📸 
#fishermanswife 
#gonefishin 
#rainyday☔

06.25.2025 Gone fishing`. Nuff said.

#onceuponatimehappilyeverafter
#fishingday
#fishermanlife
#elpasoblogger
#grandmasofinstagram
#elpaso915
#lifeafterretirement
#elpasowomen
#insta2025📸
#fishermanswife
#gonefishin
#rainyday☔
...

17 5
Follow on Instagram

The 52 Book Club’s 2025 Reading Challenge

Historical Fiction Reading Challenge 2025

Title Talk 12.2024: What's on My Bookshelf

NaNoWriMo-2024 Participant Badge

NaNoWriMo-2024 Participant Badge

One Sentence a Day

Tell Us About…

What’s Been On Your Calendar

What’s On Your Bookshelf?

Copyright © 2025 · Theme by Blog Pixie

home · about me · where i link-up · disclosure policy · privacy policy
ONCE UPON A TIME & HAPPILY EVER AFTER

By continuing to browse this site, you agree to our use of cookies.