Happy Dia de los Muertos, Friends,
And happy Halloween! I cannot tell you the difficulties I have had in preparing this post and the video I did for it on YouTube. Talk about trick-or-treat. I have spent this entire day trying to make the video and take the photos. Every time I started to record myself, there would be some hocus pocus.
The neighbor’s dog would bark non-stop, my wind chime would begin tinkling. The neighbor across the street sat in his car revving the engine, the neighbor beside him opened and closed his garage door, a motorcycle sped up and down the street, and UPS and FedEx were making non-stop deliveries. Then once I got a video I which I was half-way coherent, all of my photos and videos on my phone vanished. Think abracadabra, poof…they’re gone.
Bippity Boppity Boo
But just has I had begun banging my head against the wall, – bippity boppity boo – my photos and videos reappeared. And I was able to upload my video and access my pictures again. Have decided it was my 3 year-old nephew Andrew, who died of Wilms Tumor in November, 1991, returning from the other side to play tricks on me.
Andrew’s Make-A-Wish trip to Disney World
October 31st was not only Halloween, but the day of the angelitos, after all. According to the traditional dia de los muertos celebration, October 31st is the only day of the year that the spirits of children can return to earth. And Andrew always plays tricks on me when he visits his altar.
Taken about a month before Andrew died.
Dia de los Muertos
Although the name of this holiday is dia de los muertos, one dia=one day, it is actually a three day celebration that originated in Mexico. I first learned about it when we moved to El Paso. My students were talking as much about this holiday, that begins on 10.31 and goes through 11.02, as they were Halloween. My initial reaction was shock. I misunderstood and thought it was a celebration of death. But quite the opposite is true. Dia de los muertos is the celebration of life and love for departed family and friends. Think the movie “Coco.” Once I realized the beauty of the celebration and the symbolism of the objects on the altars created for those who have passed, I fell in love with this holiday.
And when Andrew died shortly after 9-11, I began putting together annual altars in his honor in the libraries where I worked. Sadly, my students, most of whom were Mexican or Mexican-American knew something of the celebration but didn’t know the beauty and symbolism behind it. So it became my ‘mission’ to learn what I could and share with my students and their families. Often my altars became community altars for everyone. On 10.31, we remember the children, on 11.01 we remember the adults and on 11.02 families meet at the cemetery for picnics, festivities and to clean the tombstone of their loved ones.
Andrew’s Altar
Each year, I gather many of the same items to build an altar in remembrance of my nephew, Andrew. But I try to add something new to change things up a bit, too. I put my altar together outside by my front door this year. It was the perfect place!
Abajo
On the bottom level of the altar, I have placed things that Andrew would need after crossing over from the other side.
Jabon y Agua
It is said that the spirits are hot and tired and dusty when they return to earth, so I placed a bowl of water, a bar of soap and a hand towel on the altar so Andrew can wash up.
Pan de Muertos
Also known as bread of the dead, this bread is baked in the shape of a skull or round with bone shaped pieces of dough in a cross on top. The sugar dusting on top of the bread represents the soil. I bought some of the round pan de muertos. Put one piece on my altar and ate the rest. How cool is this skull shaped bread, though? Just too big to be altar-friendly.
Sal y Un Vaso de Agua
I understand that crossing over from the other side is thirsty work. So a glass of water is left on the altar to quench the spirits’ thirst. Salt is sprinkled in the shape of a cross on the altar. It is said to also help relieve their thirst and to purify them.
Calaveras
These sugar skulls represent the deceased for whom the altar is created. Made of granulated sugar, meringue and water, the skulls are decorated with icing and sequins or bits of shiny foil. Often times the names of the departed are written in icing on the forehead of the skull. I made a skull this fall at the El Paso Museum of History but it was blown off my altar and broke. Or, was it Andrew playing his tricks?
The skull above it the one I made along with a tissue paper flower of the dead, a marigold. I was given the calavera below by one of my teachers. Candy is used on children’s altars to entice them back to earth.
Flor de Muerto
Marigolds or cempasuchitl are the flowers of the dead. Because of their pungent odor, marigolds are believed to help lead spirits back to their altars. The blooms are often put together in the shape of an arch. And sometimes marigold petals are strewn from the door of the house to the altar to help spirits find their way. I used tissue paper marigolds and real marigolds on my altar for Andrew.
Incienso de Copal y Velas
Resin from the copal tree is used to make incense. The sticks of incense are lit on the altar and the sweet fragrance helps to guide the spirits.
Candles or velas are also placed on the lower tier of the altar to light the angels’ way. I used a combination of artificial tea lights and prayer candles on mine.
Papel Picado
Papel picado or pecked paper is tissue paper hung in a banner or garland across the altar. This form of Mexican folk art features intricate designs cut into the paper. Because of the light weight of the tissue paper, the banners flutter in the slightest breeze and represent the element of air on the altar. I have purchased a plastic version of papel picado because it holds up better in our El Paso gusts.
Arriba
The upper levels of the altar hold items that were dear to the deceased. Food they liked to eat, sentimental objects and photographs. Andrew loved Batman. So I have added Batman party plates for him to use in eating his pan de muerto. And Batman flip-flops for his feet. A Batman trick-or-treat bucket became the planter for my marigolds.
His favorite food was Chick-fil-a which he called “chicken leg.” The folks at the Spring, Texas Chick-fil-a were wonderful to Andrew, providing him with all the chicken he could eat free of charge.
Our boy also loved Buzz Lightyear which was sadly prophetic as he was often caught jumping off furniture and saying “to infinity and beyond.” That sweet angel.
And the mardi gras beads. The first time I saw Andrew after his cancer diagnosis, we were all out to eat and our food was taking forever. Poor baby became irritable. I remembered I had some marid gras beads in my purse so pulled them out for a quick distraction. Andrew spent much of the rest of the meal putting the mardi gras beads over my head, taking them off and then putting them on his head. He was only about 18 months old when he was diagnosed. Still such a baby and to be so sick.
Andrew has now returned to the other side and today the adult angels make their way to earth. Sometimes I replace the tributes to Andrew with items for my father who died 05.2012. But it is hard to pack away Andrew’s things for another year. I do know, however, that someday we will meet again.
Your Turn
Are you familiar with dia de los muertos? Isn’t a beautiful ceremony? For whom would you create an altar and what would you use on it? If you have an extra minute, I’d like to invite you to stop by to read a post I wrote a few years back that talks more about Andrew’s cancer diagnosis and struggles, here.
It has taken the better part of two days to put this post together with all the hiccups. But I have persevered. I took the photo below after I realized why I was having so much trouble. It was just Andrew!
Hope that picture doesn’t give you bad dreams!
Hugs and kisses,
Hi, Leslie – I knew a little bit about Dia de los Muertos, but not a great deal. Thank you for sharing this with us. Most importantly, thank you for sharing Andrew’s beautiful life.
Sending warm hugs your way.
Thank you, Donna. Dia de los muertos is such a special celebration of life.
This is so beautiful ❤️ I have always loved this tradition, and this makes me want to do it too!
Come try dia de los muertos next year! You can do it in a very small way to start. And then if it feels comfortable, expand it a bit. Such a loving celebration of life.
What a fascinating post Leslie – and what a lovely tradition. You have gone to so much trouble to incorporate every little bit of Andrew’s spirit into your alter offerings and I feel sure you are right that he was behind all that mischief when you were trying to do your video. What a lovely way to remember him.
Thank you, Deb. I think dia de los muertos is such a happy way to remember loved ones. Instead of going to the cemetery on Memorial Day and being sad, focusing on the death of their loved one, the families who participate in dia go to the cemetery and celebrate the life of their loved ones. I appreciate the shift in perspective.
It’s a very interesting holiday. I saw the movie “Coco” and enjoyed it, but I have issues with this holiday because of my Christian beliefs. However, developing traditions of some sort to remember our loved ones is a good idea.
I think what I like best about dia de los muertos isn’t the idea thought or hope that our departed loved ones will return for a visit, but it is the celebration of their lives. And during those 3 days I enjoy feeling closer to my nephew. It is fun to remember some of the special moments we had with that mischievous 3 year old. Guess dia de los muertos is similar to Memorial Day but it is uplifting and happy rather than mournful and sad. “Coco” was such a pretty, colorful movie! Loved it.
I’m glad you persevered and got your video and blog published, Leslie. I found the detailed explanation of the holiday and the altar very interesting. I also struggled with my video this week–I just couldn’t seem to get the set up right. Then I forgot a couple of times the key points I wanted to make. I finally got a video I could live with, and now my computer is “updating my photo library” and is only 11% complete after about 30 minutes, so I can’t upload my video. Surely your nephew isn’t haunting me too! 🙂 The good news is while I’m waiting for the photo library, I decided to check in on some of my favorite blogs, which brought me to you. I hope you are having a good weekend!
Thank you for the encouragement about sticking with my video. Hope the next video we both try to share uploads with ease! Just in case Andrew was the culprit for your issues, rest assured he only pops in around Halloween/dia de los muertos. So we should have smooth sailing until this time next year.
I greatly admire you, Leslie for tackling this post in the first place. I suspect making a video would be challenging. Your description of the interruptions paints a picture of a lot of hocus pocus. Very sorry to read about your nephew, Andrew:( Yet, also a beautiful, poignant story, Leslie. I appreciate you sharing his story and sharing the photos.
At first I could not find the video and then I realized I could click on the attachment to see it. I only listened to the first couple of minutes, so far. After I click enter on this comment, I will return to finish the video. Thank you for educating me and sharing your personal story. xx
Erica, thank you for reading my post and for checking out my video. I hope that I can do better videos down the road but I doubt they will be filled with more love and emotion than my dia de los muertos tribute for my nephew. Thank you for the sweet words.
Hi my blog friend, I have heard of dia de los muertos, one of my close friends explained it to me several years back. He invites me to the celebration at his church every year were he places my daughter’s picture on the altar for remembrance. Sadly I can never bring myself to go, maybe next year. You explained it so beautifully that it makes more sense to me now. Andrew is such a beautiful child, what great memories you shared, thank you. I would probably put my daughter’s phone on the altar, she LOVED talking. Her cheer uniform and poms as this was her lofe at the time and her poetry. Thank you again for explaining this ritual so well. Be blessed
Oh, sweet Shugunna, I hope you will go to the dia de los muertos celebration next year. And take that phone, your daughter’s cheer uniform or maybe a photo of her wearing it!! And a poem. I cannot imagine how terribly difficult it is to lose a child. But I think it will be a blessing to you to participate in this holiday. Your daughter was beautiful on the outside – I remember seeing photos on your blog. And I am sure she was even more beautiful on the inside.
Thank you for sharing this! I’ve never heard of this tradition. What a beautiful way to celebrate and remember Andrew!
Jill – Doused in Pink
Thank you, Jill. Dia de los muertos is about my favorite holiday now. Love that it celebrates life!
Thanks for sharing more about this holiday. I’m sorry about your nephew.
Thank you, Dara.
Wow Leslie, I learned so much from your post…and what a lovely remembrance of your little nephew.
I’ve been a bit MIA for the past few weeks, just to flat-out busy to get to my blogging! Sorry, and here’s to trying to get caught up!
Oh, Nancy, I have been MIA this past week, too. Here’s to reconnecting. Glad my post about dia de los muertos was informative. It is such a sweet celebration of life.
Oh Leslie, I love this. Both the spirit (no pun intended) and the story. It made my eyes leak just a little…It’s the most perfect and beautiful way to celebrate the life and memory of your nephew.
Joanne, thank you so much. Dia de los muertos is my favorite holiday. My prefer the perspective of this holiday over that of Memorial Day. Seems like with one we celebrate life and with the other we think of those who have died.
Beautiful post. Definitely sounds like Andrew likes to play tricks on you. It’s so upsetting to hear about kids dying – so young, and precious. I’ve heard of this holiday but I didn’t know a lot of details about it. I love the idea of celebrating those who have passed on though.
-Lauren
Thank you for the sweet comment. Andrew was such a character. And I think he still is!! Dia de los muertos has become my favorite holiday.