Sweet readers,
Today as a follow-up to yesterday’s review of Giddy Up, Eunice by Sophie Hudson, I am sharing some wise words for life from some of my wise women friends. Advice for women by women.
As you recall, the gist of Giddy Up, Eunice is that women need other women. We need younger and older women in our lives. And they need us! All of us are valuable and can contribute to the lives of other women. And to our world.
Sophie Hudson explains it like this:
The areas where we are wise are meant to intersect with someone else’s questions. The areas where someone else is wise are meant to intersect with our questions.
Time Gives Good Advice
So, in thinking about all of this, I decided to pose the following questions on Facebook in hopes that some of my friends would answer.
What advice would you give the next generation of women about life and being a woman today? What do you wish you had known or what wisdom were you given that has helped you be happy and successful?
Here are the insightful answers I received.
Emily: Don’t take things personally. Actions speak louder than words. Don’t make someone a priority in your life if you are just an option in theirs. “No guts, no glory!” We have to do gutsy things and take risks now and then. Staying in our comfortable bubble keeps us stagnate. This quote has been a kind of mantra for me since I retired.
Stephanie: Not everyone you meet in life is going to like you. But that’s okay. It’s what you think of yourself that matters the most! Don’t lower yourself to someone else’s standards.
Denise: Less is more! Spend less, save more! You don’t need all the STUFF!
May: Receive Christ. Read the Bible, ask God to help you obey it. Pray a LOT.
Terri: Don’t try to be superwoman to make your man happy. Ask him to step up and do his fair share and if he won’t, let him go. No cranky and exhausted wife and mother is ever happy.
Vona: Happiness comes from within. Nobody can “make” you happy. A love, a child, a grandchild, a good friend can contribute to your happiness, but it isn’t their responsibility to make you happy.
Jane: Enjoy every minute of your life! Learn from the bad and the good go and see the world if it is just in your home state, love people, your family and our God! Life is very short so enjoy it while you can!
Elaine: Make a conscious effort to think ideas and opportunities through to see who or what stands to gain the most from the decisions made. Making friends is good, but beware of those who may take advantage of ‘friendships’.
Christy: Stop being afraid to chase your dreams. This path is yours and only yours.
Juliana: Go to class, professors often times will give you the benefit of the doubt.
Travel, often.
Marg: Always be true to yourself. Have a deep and abiding faith in GOD.
Laurie: Love yourself and be true to yourself. Learn everything you can. Ask for help if you need it…it’ll be a learning experience. Trying to be perfect and always please others is fruitless and a waste of time. Grow into who you are and never stop. And God is always on your side.
Suzy: Wait for a man who truly deserves you to become part of your life. Learn who you are and know what you deserve and do not settle for anything less.
Lily: Don’t spend so much time trying to be perfect that you forget to have fun along the way. Don’t forget to enjoy yourself, life is too short.
Valerie: Be yourself but be out there. Don’t be too afraid to try new things. Older women: Don’t be afraid to do new things. You are still alive, act like it.
Brennyn: Don’t get married until you’re in your 30’s and travel first. Just because you’re a mother or an older woman doesn’t mean you can’t be sexy, attractive or wanted.
Lauren: Travel as much as possible and never take your good health for granted.
Such good stuff here. Wise words. These women range in age from 16 to 60+. While everyone’s answers are a little different, many of them share a central theme: be yourself, love yourself and find your own happiness.
You Learn
Singer Alanis Morissette wrote and performed a song entitled “You Learn”. The words in the chorus are:
You live you learn, you love you learn
You cry you learn, you lose you learn
You bleed you learn, you scream you learn
This is the official video for Morissette’s song.
Oh, if only I had heard and believed this sage advice when I was a younger. Most of my adult life, I have danced as fast as I could to try to to be perfect, to make other people happy.
In this photo, I was 24 years-old. Married to an abusive young soldier. I am holding my hair because I hated the way it looked…curly and thick and slightly unruly. No doubt sucking in my stomach because it was never flat enough.
In this photo, I was a 28-year-old mommy to a 2-year-old and a 10-month-old. Covered myself with Lauren because I was so insecure about my body. We were living in the Republic of Panama where I was very much isolated from my family in the U.S. and permitted to have little contact with friends.
So many times, people wish they could go back to the good old days when they were younger, more athletic, had a head full of hair, a smaller waist, fewer responsibilities. Not this girl. I am happier than I have ever been with who I am, inside and out. I have learned. I am finally all growed up.
Almost.
Your Turn
Thank you to my sweet friends for sharing such rich life lessons. If you have a bit of advice or some wise words to share, please leave a comment below for all of us to benefit from. Then go out and do something that makes you happy, something that is uniquely you. And smile at your beautiful self next time you peek in the mirror.
Hugs and kisses,
This is an awesome post, Leslie…so many great little bits of points from women and I loved seeing the old pictures of you!
Thank you, Deena. Your comments always mean so much to me. I wish I had had this sound advice 40 years ago. XO
Wonderful post! I am so grateful for the women that I am fortunate enough to interact with in various settings (Bible study groups, service organizations, former colleagues). Having lost my mother 7 years ago, they often fill that void, and I learn so much from them. My advice would be to surround yourself with other women, of ALL ages, and observe, listen, and process (this I learned from a younger colleague, who would often tell us about goals that she set for herself after watching and listening to us talk!–WOW! I love her for that lesson!). Thank you for the opportunity to ponder this!
How wise your younger colleague is. So many times, we are so anxious to speak, we forget to listen!
I read this post twice! I loved it that much. Wow, what a lot of great words of advice. The ones about chasing your dreams and never take your health for granted have been big ones of mine. But, the ones that said to not be afraid to ask for help resonated with me the most! I just finished reading The Fringe Hours and I’ve realized that I should ask for more help with things, that I really shouldn’t be doing so much and expecting that is the way it should be! Thanks for sharing all of this! Oh, and I have held my hair back in photos too, I have some rather unruly curly hair! You’d never know as I either have it in a tight bun or I’ve ‘styled it’ smoother. lol! Thank goodness for hair appliances! 🙂
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
You sweet thing. I am so glad you found something useful here. I need to get busy on fulfilling my dream of writing a book. I am a big one to talk about chasing dreams and then I don’t run after my own.
I dislike asking for help, too. I think for so long I had to do it all myself, and maybe you did, too? So we get accustomed to having to do everything ourselves. I always felt that asking for help would indicate I couldn’t manage on my own. Even help of God. For so long, I tried to do everything myself without asking help, strength, direction from God. I still struggle with this! I will pray for others and ask God for help for them but never feel worthy of asking for myself.
I will look into The Fringe Hours. Sounds like a book that would speak to me.
As far as my hair goes, I think I wished my thick hair away. Once my second daughter was born, my hair changed. And it has never been as thick or curly as it was before. I used to try to keep my hair wet…in Panama, that was easy, as I was at the beach or burning up (no AC) for most of 6 years. Now days my hair looks better in humid places, but I live in the desert! You have lovely hair. It never looks unruly! You must manage it very well.
You have so many sweet friends, I love all of the advice that they had to give.
Oh, I am so rich in family and friends. They are all so wise. Thank goodness, they are in my life.
This is such a great blog post Leslie! I love it. It’s neat to see pictures of you when you were younger and to hear parts of your story.
Thank you so much, Danielle. My younger days seem like another life. So blessed to have my daughters but wouldn’t want to go back to those days.
Are you blogging these days? If you ever want to do something together, blog-wise, holler. I am always looking for someone to inspire me!
this post spoke straight to my heart. Thank you and thank you to all who shared their wonderful advice.
xo
Oh, Shaunacey. Thank you for coming by. Thank you for your sweet comment. I have missed you and missed your Monday posts. Maybe we can
get back at them this new year! Glad this post spoke to you. I can’t take credit for anything more than typing the wise words of my friends.
You are such a wonderful person to have in my life, Leslie! This post is so inspirational. From the words of wisdom from so many women to your “this to shall pass” message about unhappiness during other stages of life.
Wow, Whitney, wow-wow-wow! What a dear message. Thank you so much. I am so blessed by all the wise, wonderful women in my life, of which you are one. So glad you came to join TBB so I was able to meet and get to know you. XO