Hello sugar plums…thanks for joining me for this month’s Where Bloggers Live 12.2021: My Favorite Holiday. This month’s edition has us talking about our favorite holiday at home. With Thanksgiving just behind us and Christmas on the horizon, you might think those celebrations would be the theme of my post. But in all honesty, in recent years, this time of year has been difficult for my family.
Where Bloggers Live 12.2021
I have kind of rewritten this post at the very last minute tonight before it goes live in the morning. Had planned to talk about dia de los muertos as my favorite holiday. Had planned to share a YouTube video I created about that holiday and refer you to a post written several years ago that explains the holiday in some depth.
But the events of the last day or two changed my best laid plans. Instead, I am talking about Christmas. How it is a favorite but very difficult holiday for my family. Here goes.
Christmases Past
My mom has never liked the holidays much. Three years ago, a few days after Thanksgiving, my then 91-year-old mother attempted suicide by overdose, her second attempt in 7 years. She was admitted to a inpatient behavioral health facility with chronic and severe depression. After 10 days of treatment and counseling, she was released to my custody. Mom came down with pneumonia a couple of days later and was admitted to the hospital for that. Then developed blood clots in her legs.
It was a very trying time for my mom, brother, sister and me. Life didn’t return to some semblance of normal until late that spring.
Then this time 2 years ago, we were anticipating the birth of my granddaughter Camila Jean. She made her debut on 01.08.2020. Cami shares my mother’s middle name.
Christmas This Year
This Christmas we are anticipating the birth of my first grandson, Declan Ashraf, scheduled to be delivered by C-section on 12.20.2021. But baby boy is very small. Brennyn and Mustafa have been going for weekly ultrasounds and appointments several weeks now. Our boy has measured small each visit but today’s measurements were the most worrisome yet. Declan is measuring in the 5th percentile, approximately 5 pounds 7 ounces. The obstetrician has determined that Declan is suffering from fetal growth restriction (FGR) of some undetermined cause. This mommy and grandmom is nervous. Nervous for my baby and her baby.
Today we flew home from visiting my mom in Lexington, Kentucky and PC’s mom in Dayton, Ohio. Had to change planes in Ft. Worth. Brennyn and Mustafa were at the high risk obstetrician’s office as we landed at DFW. I was prepared to grab my suitcase and head for the hospital if the OB decided to take Declan immediately. But she didn’t.
The kids will go back for another ultrasound on Tuesday and we hope by some miracle Declan will be bigger. In the meantime, I am washing the clothes from my trip and putting them right back in the suitcase. Just in case. The photo below is a screenshot of Brennyn talking with my mom, her grandmother, and showing off a very pregnant tummy.
Christmas – My Favorite Holiday?
I’m not sure I can say that Christmas is my favorite holiday. To the contrary, this time of year I find myself holding my breath and praying that the holiday will pass uneventfully, if not peacefully.
It was hard to leave my mom today. She is not in a good place mentally and emotionally. Mom teeters on the brink of breakdown. We have talked about trying to move her to El Paso. Either into nursing care here or our home. But we aren’t too sure she could withstand the flight. Have looked for a nursing care facility in Lexington but are unable to find any openings. Even took Mom to see a smaller apartment in her current facility last week.
While we were visiting, PC and I set up a ViewClix portal that enables us to call Mom on a video portal so that she can see us while we talk. She has a great deal of difficulty understanding who I am when I call so hopefully seeing me will help remedy that. Can’t wait to show Mom her very first great grandson in a video call when the time comes.
The Season of Hope and Miracles
Tonight I find myself tied in knots. Even after a Bud Light that would normally have helped me unwind. Maybe sleeping in my own bed for the first time in a week will make the difference.
But I am also hopeful. And I think that comes from this most hopeful of seasons. Christmas is the time for miracles. For blessings, large and small. That hopefulness helps me to know that we have come through difficult days before. And come what may in the next few weeks, our family will survive.
Maybe dia de los muertos is my favorite holiday. Or maybe, just maybe it’s Christmas.
A Word About This Series
For those who are new ’round here, the Where Bloggers Live series is kind of like HGTV’s “Celebrities at Home,” but…with bloggers! These posts have been some of my most popular. And they are fun to write!! Last month’s episode had us sharing our junque drawers. If you missed my post, you can check it out, here.
As the new year approaches, our leader and the creator of this series, Bettye from Fashion Schlub has put together a list of fun theme’s for Where Bloggers Live in 2022. Hope you will continue to join me for the fun.
Your Turn
What holiday would be your favorite? Maybe you, too, have a mixed bag of emotions about Christmas. Hope you will join me in visiting the blogs of my Where Bloggers Live sisters to see how they responded to this month’s prompt.
Daenel at Living Outside the Stacks
Bettye at Fashion Schlub
Em at Dust and Doghair
Leslie at Once Upon a Time & Happily Ever After
Iris at Iris’ Original Ramblings
Jodie at Jodie’s Touch of Style
Thank you for popping in over here. I will have my 10 on the 10th post up a little later in the day, so you are invited to come back by again later.
Time for bed. Have a restful week’s end, my friends.
Hugs and kisses,
Kellyann c Rohr
Sweet friend, I am so sorry for all that you are facing right now. I know what you mean about feeling the way you do around this time of year.
I am praying for your sweet little Declan. I hope they are wrong and that he is bigger than expected. I also pray that things get settled with your mom. Hang in there, you are a strong woman and I have faith that things will work out just as they should. Sending hugs to you!
xo,
Kellyann
Deb
I can see how this time of year brings difficult memories to mind and I really hope that this year you have a batch of happy times to compensate for those. It sounds as if Declan is being well monitored and he is enough weeks into the pregnancy to be able to be delivered – keep that bag packed!
Take care x
Nancy
Oh I do hope you wil have a good Christmas. A relaxing one with joy.
Leslie Roberts Clingan
Thank you so much for your friendship this year. I am thankful that we have become better pals. And always enjoy our What’s App chats. As I type this we are about to head to the airport for Ft. Worth and Declan’s birth on Monday.
Dara
I hope this season is wonderful for you with many good things happening including your grandson!
Leslie Roberts Clingan
Thank you, dear friend. Have always appreciated your kind words of support.
Marsha Banks
Oh, Leslie, I can see why this time of year may not be your favorite. I wish I had magical words to make things better. I will pray for Declan to gain strength and size, hope for your mom, and peace for you, my friend.
http://marshainthemiddle.com
Debbie @debbiestyleslife.com
Prayers for that sweet grandson and your daughter as birth time draws near. And for your Mom. Christmas can be a mixed bag of emotions for sure. May you feel God’s peace in the midst of all of these emotions.
Love,
Debbie
Donna Connolly
Hi, Leslie –
I truly believe that Christmas is the time for hope and miracles.
I am wishing the best to your mom and for the birth of your first grandson, Declan.
May peace and Christmas miracles shine on you and your family this holiday season.
Donna Connolly
Hi, Lesley – I just wrote a comment but am not sure if it went through (or if it went straight through to spam). If not there, please let me know and I will rewrite.
ShootingStarsMag
I hope all goes well for your grandson’s arrival. I’m sure it was tough to leave your mom – being able to see you when you call sounds really lovely though.
-Lauren
Leslie Roberts Clingan
Thank you so much. I hope someday I can make a trip up that way and we can actually meet up for a quick hug. I appreciate your friendship.
jodie filogomo
Oh, Leslie. I wish I were there to hug you. It’s never easy when these events happen, and personally I think it’s harder when everyone else is in good cheer.
Yet I love your positive spin, and you’re right about miracles. Tis the season for them.
XOXO
jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Iris Smale
Oh goodness Leslie – have definitely added you and your family to my prayer list. Praying Christmas miracles are there for you! And congrats on the new grandson.
Iris
Patricia Doyle
I can relate to your worries about your mom. My mom’s cognitive decline is getting worse and I wonder each time I hug her goodbye if it will be my last. Wishing you peace for the holiday.
Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom
Christmas is a hard season for you! You’ve been through a lot with your momma and not just during Christmas, but it is a hard season in general when parents age and need more and more of our care. That is hard with you not sure if she can handle a flight. And, I pray your daughter’s baby will grow. That is def. a lot to have on your heart. I am so sorry, friend! I will have you in my thoughts and prayers. I love Christmas, but I feel there is just SO much to it. #stress It is overwhelming. So much added stuff. I sometimes wish we could just get back down to the basics. Gifts are great, but memories and the true meaning are better. And, the actual day passes SO quickly!
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
Leslie Roberts Clingan
Oh, my darling friend, thank you for this message. I know you know the struggle with my mom and I have so often wondered how your dad is doing. The holidays lose some of their magic when we forget the true meaning and get caught up in all of the stress and hubbub. You are so right. Hope you, Brian and the kids can make some very special memories this year as your babies are growing so fast and will be on their own in the blink of an eye. Merry Christmas.
Bettye L Rainwater
Oh goodness, I’m so sorry to hear about all the sadness you’ve had at Christmases past…and continue to have today.
I wish you and everyone in your family some peace and comfort and good health…
xoxo Bettye
Karen Kasberg
What a heart-wrenching post. I’m praying for all things good in your family this holiday season and into the new year.
I have to admit, I am not a huge fan of the holidays, only because of all the chaos and stress I put on myself. Unfortunately, I have passed the dislike of the holidays on to my grown children. I wish I could change this, but I can’t. Maybe with time…
Many blessings to you and your family. Will keep you all in my thoughs and prayers.
Leslie Roberts Clingan
Thank you, Karen, for this heartwarming message. I appreciate your good thoughts and prayers. The holidays are terribly chaotic, aren’t they. Over and over I tell myself that ‘this’ will be the year we just make memories and spend time loving each other. And then I get caught up in all the crazy and lose track of what is important for another holiday season.
Talked to my mom this morning and she was so lonely. It just breaks my heart. I don’t know what to do to help. Will try to get back up to see her as soon as I can.
Jill
The holidays are always so stressful and I’m sorry you’ve had so many hard Christmases. Praying that this year will be full of joyful blessings for you and your family!
Jill – Doused in Pink
Leslie Roberts Clingan
Thank you, sweet Jill. We are so grateful for our friends and their faith and prayers.
Natasha
I’m saying prayers that your family is getting good news about Declan and that everything is good in the end. I cannot imagine how stressful this must be. And yes, I too feel tension between the joy of Christmas and the hope and prayers for miracles through the tough times.
Leslie Roberts Clingan
Thank you, darling friend. The love and prayers of my friends are holding me together. We are about to head to the airport now for Ft. Worth, but our departure time has changed 3 times in 30 minutes. Yikes.