Dear readers and writers, today’s prompt for Anita Ojeda’s #write28days challenge is sheep. You can read her post for the prompt, here. For a split second I questioned what I could write. But only for a split second because then it dawned on me that my whole day today was about trying to shepherd my sheep.
Sheep
I am a tired shepherd tonight. A tired mama, daughter, sister and wife. Today it felt like everyone needed some shepherding, some direction, guidance. And there was just not enough of me to go around. It isn’t that I am in anyway comparing myself to God caring for His sheep. Not at all. But it just felt as if my flock, my family were especially scattered and struggling and needing support.
As hard as I might try, I can’t make things better for my adult daughters on their hard days the way I could when they were little. Band-aids and lollipops don’t make their grown-up problems better. I hate that Brennyn lives so far away. Detest that Lauren has so many health worries. That newborn babies and middle-school preteens can both be so moody. And that potty training stubborn two-year-olds can be so challenging. Or that talkative kindergartners need so much attention. That husbands must work 12-16 hour shifts on the weekends.
I feel so helpless when I talk with my mom and see how lost and lonely she is. And unable to do one thing about it. Not even hold her in my arms for a moment. Or stop by for a visit so that my brother can have the day off from visiting.
It breaks my heart that my sister discovers long forgotten photos of the young son she lost years ago. I have no words that can ease her pain and sorrow. And feel so guilty for my own.
Finally, I detest that all of these worries make me so weary that I am impatient and unkind. I am not the wife I want to be to Paul. Or the wife he deserves. I feel stretched too thin to be any good to anyone. Maybe that is one of the reminders in all of this. We cannot do it alone. Nor do we have to.
Your Turn
Do you ever have bone weary days? What do you do to feel reenergized? How do you tend your flock when they all seem to be struggling?
I am praying that the master Shepherd lights the paths of those I love. Bring rest to all of us, His sheep. And looks after His flock tomorrow and in the days to come.
Hugs and kisses,
Marsha Banks
It seems at least 3-4 nights a week, as I’m saying my prayers, I say, “Lord, my soul is tired.” While my schedule isn’t near as full as yours (my kids are at that stage where they think I’m one step away from a care facility), every day seems to have its share of pitfalls and heartache. Some days, my faith falters. Some days, I’m just so discouraged. And, some days, I throw myself one heck of a pity party…but always in private. What I’m saying, Leslie, is I hear you and I hold you in my prayers.
Deb
Don’t forget that every shepherd needs a shepherd of their own to help them (or failing that, a sheep dog to help them round the sheep up!) I know you have your faith to reassure you that you would never be given any challenge that you weren’t able to deal with and I hope you can draw strength from that.
It’s impossible to say ‘don’t worry so much’ when I know that I would be struggling too, so I’m just going to say be kind to yourself and reserve some time for looking after yourself.
Dara
I’m sure everyone has weary days. I hope you are ok!