Sharing Our First Dates From The Book “52 Uncommon Dates”

Hello, girlsies and hello, Saturday!

Taking a quick break from chasing kitty fur all over my house this morning to share a couple of dating adventures prompted by Randy Southern’s book 52 Uncommon Dates.  I first reviewed this book in a post at the first of the month, here.  On that post, I had a give-away for a copy of the book.  Reader and my new friend Anne was the winner and she was so sweet to share the details of their first date so I could share it with you.

Before I get to Anne’s date, let me share a few pics from the first 52 Uncommon Dates that my PC and I tried.  The Cemetery Date is actually the second outing described in the book but this wasn’t the first time that my Prince Charming and I have gone on a “date” to a cemetery.  In fact, before I ever discovered this book, we kinda had a three-some with my brother at the Lexington Cemetery.  Three-some date.  DATE.

Southern uses the same format to outline each date in the book.  He begins each with a section called “Words to Grow On”, where he provides a Bible verse then a quote from Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages.  The verse for the Cemetery Date was Hebrews 12:1 which encourages running with endurance the race that God has created for us.  He also shares the epitaph found on George Washington Carver’s tombstone:  “He could have added fortune to fame, but caring for neither, he found happiness and honor in being helpful to the world.”

Just wow.

Next comes “Set the Scene”.  Southern suggests that rather than viewing a visit to a cemetery as morbid, we should think of this date as a way to honor those who have gone before us, and remember how both the living and the dead can influence our lives.

In “Make it Happen”, the author provides tips for planning a successful date…in this case, a successful date to a cemetery!  He suggests that if we visit a cemetery where family is buried, we should start there.

The picture above was taken this past fall in Lexington.  McFarland is one of our family names on my father’s side but I don’t think this was a family member.

 We don’t have any family buried in El Paso (or Lexington, for that matter).  We do have the cremated remains of our three dogs on a shelf in my loft but I don’t think visiting with them would count for the date.

So instead, we visited Evergreen Cemetery.

Somewhat of a misnomer.

With the exception of the weeds, of course.

We were encouraged to look for eye-catching grave markers, to talk about the dates on the gravestones and to weave stories about the lives of the people buried there.  How have those family members who have died before us influenced our lives and our spirituality?

My Prince is a retired U.S. Army veteran so we take particular interest in the gravestones of our country’s soldiers.  The dates on these three headstones provided ample fodder for creating a plausible story about the lives and deaths of these people.  The middle stone is for Lieutenant Roger Brown who died in 1918, just a month before the end of World War I. We imagined that he died from a battle injury.  And that maybe his parents are buried to either side of him.  The father died shortly before the son and the mother died days after the son.

Here is a picture of many unknown soldiers buried at the cemetery in Lexington.

The monument below really touched me.

The sweet message on Peter Wehner’s headstone speaks to the kind of man he was.  In my book, loving little children is pretty important.  Coincidentally, Mr. Wehner died on my birthday, forty-two years before I was born.  I wondered if he was a teacher or a loving father and grandfather.

But the headstones that surround his are for people with different surnames.

I would like to think that maybe some of the children Peter Wehner loved have come to sit on the concrete benches at his side. to think of him and be near him again.

We talked about what we would want written on our headstones.  I would want something about my love of family (and children).  PC would want something simple like “He was a good man.”  But we might both wind up in tin boxes on a shelf in my loft.

Lastly, we are prompted to “Finish Strong”.  Southern offers several questions that we can use as spring boards for a discussion about our date and what we took away from it.

“Was the date eerie or comforting?”

“Did seeing the gravestones make you want to prioritize anything differently in life?”

“What gravestones affected you most, and why?” {pp. 18-19}

We saw so many headstones for little babies and children or young adults just beginning their lives.  I always think of my nephew Andrew who died when he was three.  I am reminded that every day is a gift.  We never know how much time we have in this world.  It is so important to do something everyday, every single day, that makes you happy, that brings you closer to the ones you love most.

Southern concludes the chapters for each date with a section called “Take it to God” and another called “Dig Deep”.  In “Take it to God”, he recommends we begin our dates with a prayer of thanks for the life we have now and for all eternity.  I have to admit, this part was a little hard for me to ask of PC.  I mentioned it to him but we didn’t recite a prayer exactly.  “Dig Deep” provides additional Bible verses related to the theme of each particular date.  The author also suggests a reading from The Love Languages Devotional Bible.  We didn’t follow up by reading anything either.  Hopefully, we can do this in our next date.

Our date was about an hour long.  PC was really having back issues so walking was uncomfortable or I think we would have stayed longer.   I had driven by Evergreen Cemetery for years, going to and from work at a high school library across the street.  It was interesting to finally stop there.

Now I want to share the details Anne shared with me about their first date from 52 Uncommon Dates. The Arcade Date.  (PC and I have done this one, too!).  Weird thing happened, though, as I got ready to write this post.  I had saved Anne’s email in a folder in my email account waiting for the day when I could sit down and write up this post.  When I went to fetch the message from Anne today, it was gone.  I felt awful.  I really needed a break from chasing dust bunnies (dust kitties?) and cleaning house, but couldn’t find her email anywhere.  I took a chance and wrote Anne again explaining that I knew I had her message but couldn’t find it, asking if she could resend it.

Anne saved the day.  A few moments later, before I had time to drag myself back to the bathroom to scrub the toilet, I received the email again from Anne.  Thank you, sweet lady, in more ways than one.

Anne writes:

Thank you for sending the “52 Uncommon Dates” book. We have enjoyed reading the ideas and decided to try Date #23 – The Arcade. You mentioned wanting to feature us trying the ideas from the book. Below is a brief description and pictures.

 (Isn’t Anne the cutest thing?  I love her overalls and sunny yellow tee.  She and her Mr. are a darling couple!)

Our date began with a prayer after reading the chapter. Our son took our picture in our back yard before we left. Since we don’t have an arcade near our house, we chose to use the arcade at our local Cabelas. I have included pics of some of the games we played which were all fun. My husband Troy enjoyed the shooting gallery the most. My favorite was the car racing game.

Next, we went to a nearby “Mooyah” restaurant for a laid back meal of burger, fries and a salad.

After eating, we stopped at the store for our favorite candy bars when we were children. My favorite candy bar was really a Marathon bar….but, they don’t make them anymore! So, a close second was Starburst. Troy opted for his childhood favorite, a Zero bar.

We definitely felt like kids, again, which the author, Randy Southern describes as the goal of the date. We were mindful of each other’s love languages during the date as the author suggests. We are looking forward to trying a few more of the date ideas. Particularly, the water date and the photography date.

Looking forward to reading about you and PC’s adventures.

Anne 🙂