Sweet friends,
Thank you for coming by. Today, I am sharing some children’s books that deal with difficult topics – loss, death, grief. You may remember that early in the school year I subbed in the school library of a friend of mine. Pat had been diagnosed with Stage IV stomach cancer which lead to her sudden early retirement. When I accepted the job, I didn’t know anything more than that Pat had retired unexpectedly due to illness.
In my first days at Whitaker, I learned about Pat’s prognosis. My heart filled with a heavy sadness that kept me awake at night and followed me into work everyday. Being in the library my friend loved so much was difficult. In introducing myself to the faculty, staff and students, I felt the need to somehow explain why I was there. The adults knew Pat was very ill but the children did not. In my introduction to them, I explained that I had retired to have neck surgery. Once I had recovered, I missed books and babies so much that I began subbing. I always ended by saying that maybe their librarian would return, if only for a story and to say hi, once she was feeling better.
Our Loss
However, on September 21, Pat lost very short-lived battle with cancer. That was a very difficult day on campus. The teachers arrived to school just having heard the news. And those who had worked with Pat for any length of time were extremely distraught. Counselors were brought in from neighboring schools to comfort them. The students, especially the older ones, were very perceptive and realized immediately something was terribly wrong. So the decision was made to share with them the news of their librarian’s passing.
In my grief, I began combing the library collection for books dealing with death and loss. I wanted to have them available for the teachers and students but also for the counselors who were helping us through. While death is a reality of daily life, there were very few books in the library that addressed that subject. I turned to Amazon for help.
Here are the books I ordered.
Telling the Children
The responsibility of telling the students about Ms. Arnold’s passing fell on the principal and counselor and some of the other leadership team. Those children who were most upset by the news were encouraged to stay with a counselor until they felt like joining the rest of their class. I kept the books above available until my time at Whitaker was over. Then I debated about whether to leave them or bring them home with me. Decided to bring them home to have on hand for my granddaughters, someday.
While each of the books received positive reviews on Amazon, my favorite was…
The Goodbye Book
Editorial Review
Written by Todd Parr, the author/illustrator of more than 40 children’s books, The Goodbye Book can be used with children (and their adults) dealing with grief or enduring any kind of loss. In her Amazon review for “School Library Journal”, Liz Anderson writes:
Sheila DelCharco
Thank you for sharing this important resource with your readers. I hope to never need them but if I do, I’ll know where to turn! xoxo~
Valerie Price
What’s Heaven by Maria Shriver and Tomie DePaola’s Nana Upstairs, Nana Downstairs are two books I have used in the past. We read What is Heaven with Trey after Andrew’s death. It is hard to say if it spoke to him or gave him reassurance, but it was a way for us to communicate the loss. Nana … I have used several times as a general read a lout and it opens up discussion about the elderly and loss of grandparents.
Leslie Roberts Clingan
I don’t know What’s Heaven but need to look into it. I have always really like Nana by Paola, too. Check out The Invisible String. It would be a good resource to have on hand. Thank you, baby sister, for coming by.
Leslie Roberts Clingan
Thank you for coming by. When no one at the school asked for books about grief, loss or death to use with their students, I decided to just keep this. I worry about my oldest granddaughter at times, now that my daughter and son-in-law are divorced. I think both books, but especially The Invisible String might be a comfort to her.
XOXO dear friend
Cathy Lawdanski
Leslie – thank you so much for this. Two of my grandchildren (ages 3 & 9) are living with us after the separation of their parents. Their mom is here, but they don’t see their dad much and are grieving. And they miss their dog, who lives with the dad, is very old and feeble and will probably die or be put down soon. I will check these out to have on hand. Great resource.
Leslie Roberts Clingan
Oh, Cathy, bless your heart and your sweet grandbabies. Divorce is so tough on everyone. The Invisible String is a wonderful story and I think it would speak to your little ones. I am so sorry that they are having to deal with such difficult emotions and experiences but thankful they have you in their lives. XO